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Jenn Swirtz and T. Lynn Mikeska in “Hollywood Hills” by Stephanie Alison Walker – Photo via The Huffington Post


I am pretty, right? I mean, I’m not fishing for complements, I just want to confirm that my perspective is accurate. That I’m pretty, because I’m pretty sure I am. I’m hot, right? I am. I mean, I’m a size two, I’ve got a perfectly symmetrical face and great tits.

Mark always talked about my tits. And they’re real! Not like that stupid bimbo’s. What’s her name, anyway? Cherry? Cherish? You know, just because you book a guest spot on One Tree Hill doesn’t make you a star.

I hate that attitude. I mean, how many people actually watch that show anyway? And did you see her? She was all like expecting everyone at the club to recognize her. So sad.
Drinking Red Bull vodka as if that were still cool.
It’s sad. Someone should really tell her.
I have no idea how Mark could be into her.

And she can’t act. She’s horrible! I can’t even look at her she’s so fucking embarrassingly bad.
How the fuck did she get that part?! It’s not like she’s hot. She’s all soft and puffy and… round.

What does Mark see in her?!

Missy, a Hollywood starlet in the making, and D, a stand-in for Hilary Duff, are drunk, high and lost on their way to an after-party in the Hollywood Hills. Will Missy ever get a satisfying answer to the question, “Am I hot?” Will D ever get to smoke her cigarette? Was that speed bump really just a speed bump?

2 Characters, 2W
10 minutes

This is one of three “car plays” that playwright Stephanie Alison Walker has written and was originally produced inside an actual car at Los Angeles’ Moving Arts Theatre Company’s critically acclaimed production of The Car Plays.

[The Car Plays: L.A. Stories at Radar L.A. – Moving Arts – June 2011]
[The Car Plays – Los Angeles – Moving Arts – September 2006]

Called “Intense!” and “Morbid” by and “Hilariously dark” by the LA Weekly.